If I Wanted To Listen T Shirt
If I Wanted To Listen T Shirt
If I Wanted To Listen T Shirt
If I Wanted To Listen T Shirt
Guaranteed to put a smile on someone's face. Estimated postage and packing for 1 shirt in UK just £3.95
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Description
Description
Funny Rude T Shirt, If I Wanted To Listen I'd Fart
Everybody knows at least one person who mistakes volume for wisdom. Rather than arguing with them, simply present the alternative listening arrangement and let the logic speak, or rather trumpet, for itself.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Second T shirt from Lion Legion always good quality. Easy to order, quickly sent out. Will order again from them great service." (Gillian H.)
With over 16,000 verified reviews, our previous buyers say we supply great quality clothing and provide first-class customer service, so go ahead and order with confidence.
These are not the same as the thin, cheap, knock-off rubbish you can buy elsewhere. At 180gsm, this is a proper weight, high-quality t-shirt, heavier than most competitors even attempt, and you'll feel the quality the moment you pick it up.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Great company to deal with and the customer service is excellent, regular updates keep you well informed about your orders progress and delivery dates. The products themselves are of a very high quality." (Brian S.)
- Strong, 180gsm heavyweight cotton that holds its shape and lasts a long time.
- Check the size chart before ordering, sizing runs true for most customers.
- Long length and 'generous' fit - looks great on any physique.
- High-definition direct-to-garment print (DTG), sharp and fade-resistant.
- Seamless twin needle collar - sits better on the neck.
- Taped neck and shoulders - more comfortable.
- Twin needle sleeves and hem - double-stitched for added strength.
- Tear out label - stops that 'scratchy neck' feeling.
Printed close to you (UK, US, and other regions).
Go ahead and select your desired colour and size above.
Shipping starts from $4.75 (US) and £3.89 (UK). Exact rates show at checkout.
Funny Rude T Shirt For Connoisseurs Of The Comeback
Good old-fashioned toilet humour never went out of style, it just got sharper. If I wanted to listen to an arsehole, I'd fart, is the rare insult that doubles as a fully reasoned argument, and it wins every exchange before the other party has opened their mouth. It sits comfortably among our funny rude t shirts, a veteran-owned collection where blunt humour is standard issue. No pulse, no sense of humour, no purchase, those are the only entry requirements.
The Thinking Behind I'd Fart
The genius of the line is that it presents flatulence as the more dignified option, which says everything about the person being described. Wearers tend to have a low tolerance for waffle, a well-stocked arsenal of one-liners, and a talent for ending debates with a single raised eyebrow. Barrack-room wit like this deserves proper hardware underneath it, which is why the design is printed on 180gsm heavyweight cotton, a genuinely heavyweight shirt that keeps its shape through every rewearing.
Funny Rude T Shirt That Gets It Right
A long punchline has to be readable start to finish or the gag collapses halfway, so print quality matters more here than on most designs. High-definition direct-to-garment (DTG) printing keeps every word of the line crisp from first wash to fiftieth. Wear it to the pub quiz where a certain know-it-all holds court, the family gathering with a resident lecturer, or anywhere someone needs the message delivered gently, in writing, at chest height.
Funny Rude T Shirt FAQ
What is this funny rude t shirt made from and how is it printed?
This funny rude t shirt is made from strong 180gsm heavyweight cotton with a high-definition direct-to-garment (DTG) print. Wash it inside out at 30 degrees and the full punchline will stay crisp and legible for years of deployments.
How does the sizing run on this design?
Sizing on this design runs true for most customers, with a long length and generous fit across sizes S to 5XL. Check the size chart against a shirt you already own, measuring the chest flat from armpit to armpit, before choosing your usual size.
When will my order ship and can it be personalised?
Orders for the if I wanted to listen design are produced within 1 to 2 days, with shipping typically taking a further 1 to 3 days. Personalisation is not available on this slogan, because the wording is already a complete and perfectly balanced sentence.
Who is the If I Wanted To Listen design best suited to?
The design suits anyone with a dry wit and a limited appetite for lectures, from veterans raised on barrack-room banter to civilians who simply appreciate a well-built insult. Coming from a veteran-owned business, the humour is authentically blunt, making it a superb gift for the plain speaker in your life.
Delivery & Returns
Delivery & Returns
Delivery
All items are made to order. Most orders are produced within 2–3 business days, then shipped.
Delivery options, prices, and estimated arrival dates are shown at checkout once you enter your delivery address.
Shipping times
Shipping times vary by location. Sometimes customs checks and local couriers can add extra time.
For the latest delivery estimates and rates, please see our Shipping Rates page.
Tracking
We’ll email you a tracking link as soon as your order ships.
Returns
We want you to love your purchase. If you’re not 100% satisfied, we accept returns or exchanges within 60 days from the date you received your order.
To start a return or exchange, email us at support@lionlegion.co.uk.
Contact
If you have any questions, or something’s gone wrong with your order, email us at support@lionlegion.co.uk.
Christmas delivery
We do everything we can to get orders printed, quality checked, and shipped quickly in the run-up to Christmas. Once your parcel is with the courier, delivery speed is outside our control, so please order early if you need it for a specific date.
Size Chart
Size Chart
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