Oral Christmas Jumper
Oral Christmas Jumper
Oral Christmas Jumper
Oral Christmas Jumper
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Description
Description
Rude Christmas Jumper, Will Give Oral For Mince Pies
Some people negotiate hard at Christmas, and some people will trade absolutely anything for the good pastry. Set your terms out clearly on arrival and see who brings a box round.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Love that I'm buying from a family-owned company. I wasn't disappointed. Outstanding quality and Service." (Martin B.)
Over 16,400 verified five-star reviews, and the two most common words in them are quality and service.
Plenty of sweatshirts at this price start bobbling after a few washes. Ours is 280gsm, an 80% ringspun cotton and 20% polyester blend, soft cotton-faced on the inside. Twin needle stitching at the seams, a taped neck so nothing rubs, and WRAP certified production behind it.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Great shirt, great quality and I highly recommend." (Sue W.)
- 80% ringspun cotton/20% polyester, a proper heavyweight blend built to last season after season.
- Generous fit - Previous customers say it fits both men and women well, and roomy enough that it goes over a shirt without a fight.
- Weight, a nice and thick 280gsm that feels premium and keeps the cold out.
- Soft cotton-faced fabric - warm as toast.
- Check the size chart before ordering, sizing runs true for most customers.
- High-definition direct-to-garment print (DTG), sharp and fade-resistant.
- Taped neck – more comfortable.
- Twin needle stitching for added strength.
- WRAP Certified Production – no sweatshops.
Go ahead and select your desired colour and size above.
Shipping starts from $4.75 (US) and £3.89 (UK). Exact rates show at checkout.
Rude Christmas Jumper For The Shameless Bargain Hunter
This is not a subtle one and it does not pretend to be. The humour lives in the sheer scale of the trade being offered, weighed against something as small and daft as a mince pie. That mismatch is the joke, and it is why the line gets a proper laugh instead of a wince. The wearer is someone with no shame and a genuinely serious position on festive baking, usually holding court somewhere near the kitchen. Read the room before packing it, because it belongs at the mate's party rather than the works do with the regional manager present. Built at a solid 280gsm, it has real weight and structure, so it hangs properly rather than clinging like the flimsy seasonal tat sold in supermarkets. Anyone after something equally direct should look through the rude christmas jumpers range.
The Thinking Behind Trading Favours For Pastry
Christmas is full of transactions nobody admits to. Presents given to settle scores, invitations accepted for the food, visits made purely for the buffet. Putting a wildly disproportionate offer in writing simply says out loud what everybody is quietly doing anyway. The delivery is flat and businesslike, which is exactly what makes it funny rather than seedy. It suits the friend with no filter, the one who arrives loud and leaves louder. Construction is an 80% ringspun cotton and 20% polyester blend, which resists bobbling and holds colour through repeated washing, so a jumper this memorable can be brought back every year without looking tired. Give it to someone who will absolutely wear it in front of their mother.
Rude Christmas Jumper That Gets It Right
Crude for the sake of it gets boring fast. What keeps this one working is the specificity, because it names a genuine object of desire rather than being vaguely filthy. Everybody knows someone who really would consider that trade. The lettering is applied using high-definition direct-to-garment printing, which keeps it clean and readable rather than smudged, because a punchline nobody can read across a crowded room is worthless. It sits comfortably over a shirt or on its own, warm enough for a beer garden in December and soft enough to keep on all night. Wear it to the party where the jokes have already gone south, and let it fit right in with the rest of the evening.
Rude Christmas Jumper FAQ
What is this Christmas jumper made from and how is the design printed?
Every Christmas jumper is made from an 80% ringspun cotton and 20% polyester blend at a thick 280gsm, with the design applied by high-definition direct-to-garment printing. Wash it inside out at thirty degrees and the wording stays bold for years.
How does the sizing work on this jumper?
The jumper uses unisex sizing that runs true for most customers, so your usual size is normally the safe choice. Measure a jumper you already own against the size chart, and size up if you prefer extra room across the chest.
When will my order ship and can this design be personalised?
Orders take 1 to 2 production days and then ship within a 1 to 3 day window. Personalisation is not available on this design, since the wording is fixed artwork and swapping the mince pies for anything else ruins the whole trade.
Where is it safe to wear the mince pie proposition?
The mince pie proposition belongs at house parties, stag dos and pub nights with people who already know your sense of humour. Leave it at home for the office party and the in-laws, unless your workplace is considerably more relaxed than most.
Delivery & Returns
Delivery & Returns
Delivery
All items are made to order. Each one is printed fresh for you, then given time for the ink to fully cure before it's quality checked and packed. Most orders ship within 2-3 business days.
Delivery options, prices, and estimated arrival dates are shown at checkout once you enter your delivery address.
Shipping times
Shipping times vary by location. Sometimes customs checks and local couriers can add extra time.
For the latest delivery estimates and rates, please see our Shipping Rates page.
Tracking
We’ll email you a tracking link as soon as your order ships.
Returns
We want you to love your purchase. If you’re not 100% satisfied, we accept returns or exchanges within 60 days from the date you received your order.
To start a return or exchange, email us at support@lionlegion.co.uk.
Contact
If you have any questions, or something’s gone wrong with your order, email us at support@lionlegion.co.uk.
Christmas delivery
We do everything we can to get orders printed, quality checked, and shipped quickly in the run-up to Christmas. Once your parcel is with the courier, delivery speed is outside our control, so please order early if you need it for a specific date.
Size Chart
Size Chart
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